I recently read that there’s a townhouse in Washington that is kept for the exclusive use of ex Presidents of the United States. Their home-from-home whilst in the capitol, and place to meet and share ideas and experiences with other holders of the office. That’s one exclusive club.
In the UK, I’d like to propose a similar establishment, however this club is not for politicians or prime ministers, this is for the exclusive use of our ‘national treasures’. More specifically it’s for the use of our ‘national treasures’ whose… how we shall say this…time has come?
We’ll obviously need some Founding Members. Remember, these have to be people who have made a significant impact on the culture and fabric of our society. They need to be household names who are cherished and respected but who now have to….well…stop.
To our new members I say we love you, we want to keep on loving you and we will, IF you accept membership and renounce all desires, invitations or requests to perform, sing, present and in extreme cases even appear in public. And trust me; this is for your own good. Like the stock market, national treasure status can go down as well as up. By joining this club your status is frozen and will never diminish – you just have to abide by the rules above.
So for Founder membership I propose, not surprisingly: Sir Paul McCartney (express membership approved), Sir Bruce Forsythe (ditto), Mohammed Ali and Sir Cliff Richard.
I’d also like to propose that certain celebrities are sent an Amber Award. The Amber Award signifies that they have three to five more performing years before they are inducted into the (quiet) house. Those I’d propose for an inaugural Amber Award are: Sue Barker, Mark Lawrenson, Melvyn Bragg and, dare I say it…Sir Richard Attenborough.
Every good thing must come to an end. We salute you, thanks and goodbye.
Dean Barrett is not ageist, he’s 47, how can he be? But he thinks now is the time to call ‘last orders’ in the celebrity saloon. Let him know what you think on Twitter @deanbarrett or @BastionPR